last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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