i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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