This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Naked. naked and bneed help.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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