omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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