I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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