he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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