Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We got so high we made milksteak
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
