Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
