The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
