I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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