I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
