Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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