My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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