He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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