using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
