he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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