Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
