he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
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I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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