I should be sponsored by Trojan
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
