Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
