she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
