Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
