okay pat passed out under dana's car
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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