you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
