Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
