Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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