sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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