Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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