so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
