The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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