tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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