I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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