I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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