I hate all girls vehemently.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
