Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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