Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize