we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
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is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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