I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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