you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
