you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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