We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize