Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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