i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.