why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.