I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.