i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
