Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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