Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Randomize
