My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
