But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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