Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
