You really coming over, don't trick.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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