At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
