Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
