Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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