I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize