the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
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