maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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