Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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