i jhust puked up my retainher.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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