I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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